The unbearable lightness of beingAbout the psychology of joy
Can you beat that? Boundless joy! Is it possible to be filled with joy for all times? Why not? Could I bear it? Means if joy would be without boundaries - why would I have to bridle it? Why would I have to bear it? Would that be bad? Joy is so beautiful that it is unbearable. Precisely for this reason it is my goal, if this term would be appropriate at all when speaking about the highest feelings...
In total joy there is no place for other emotions. Anything restricting is deflated to zero. There is no grief, there is no fear, there is no worry, and there is no anger. There is no guilt, and there is no separation. There is no pain. There is no death. Life is just what it makes worthwhile to live. In deepest joy I am close to the gods and my soul gets nurtured, my essence is flourishing.
Oh' Dionysus, God of wine and fertility, triple-born God of ecstasy, awaken me to the complete sensual, playful, joyful life! It is so pleasurable that it is hard to bear. But fortunately I don't have to! My self can be outside of my body, outside of my thoughts, especially if they want to pull me down.
I fly, and my body is dancing in the feeling of unusual freedom, freedom at last, to sense the lightness of being, full of joy, unable to bear this state. I am the dancing universe, drunken happiness.
Why care about outside happiness, if I could just be filled with God from inside?
I cannot understand those many quarrels, jealousy and all the other emotions in this world. How could anyone believe that life is a torment and world a nasty place? How could anyone depart from one's nature by such a tremendous distance?
In the depths of the universe, I've now found the explanation, and that's the whole point of my article. It is the unbearable lightness of being, and therefore of the natural state of joy. For many it is simply unendurable! Man cannot attract more joy into life than believes is capable to bear. So he must pull down his world and its environment as much as necessary until his mind has finally found an excuse for his spirit to crawl through life without joy! Finally I realize, and clarity is so liberating, why there is all this war. It is the fear of joy. It is the fear of being unable to bear the flows of divinity.
We need courage to no longer bear those locked up bright sides in ourselves. We need courage to release them from their prison. We need the courage to risk that this play and all those beautiful emotions might kill us, if we let them go free.
This death would be great, a new person would be born, so close to the gods, maybe half man, half God, like you, Dionysus? Times as lion, times as goat, sometimes human, sometimes God? You serve transcendent joy, while I am playing with my craziness and my moods, with the thrill, which cannot be planned! You make me cross the limits of my spiritual consciousness.
Nelson Mandela has once spoken of the greatest fear of man, namely, to be powerful beyond measure, that our light would frighten us more than our darkness. So let us find the courage to let our light shine! We do not need to bear it. It will make the joy complete, and without any action it will automatically liberate others!
Ecstasy: If I find something unbearable and my self can no longer endure it inside the body. Ecstasy comes from εκστασις »ex stasis« and literally means, to stand outside oneself. I am filled with an emotion that is too powerful for my body to contain or my rational mind to understand. It is so powerful that I am transcended into another realm in order to be able to experience it. In ecstasy, while playing with the gods, we earn the right to be born again. Ecstasy makes us truly alive.
I am enthusiastic: ενθεος »en theos«, to be filled with God, God is in me. The soul is enhanced, the self is activated, there is pure joy. That is why one can never be enthusiastic »about« something.
Dionysus: Διόνυσος The Greek god of ecstasy was born of fire. He was the son of Zeus and Semele, daughter of King Cadmus, a mortal. Their passionate relation provoked the jealousy of Hera, wife of Zeus. Hera, in disguise, urged the pregnant Semele mercilessly to look into the fiery radiant eyes of her lover. Semele gave in and was almost completely incinerated. Zeus loved his son and was able to rescue the fetus from the womb, he cut an incision in his own thigh, and tucked the child into it. When gestation was complete Zeus gave birth to the infant god Dionysus. The Titans, old masculine gods, had much fear of this new force, arriving at Olympus, so they killed the child and tore him to pieces. But Dionysus would not stay dead. From a drop of his blood, a pomegranate tree arose, symbol of fertility, and Rhea, mother of Zeus, made Dionysus whole once again. In order to protect him from Hera, Dionysus was then turned into a young goat and brought to mount Nysa, where he was raised by the nymphs, joyous female spirits of the forests and mountains. Rain and honey nurtured him; he learned the Muses and sensuous pleasures, the wonders of dance and exuberant sexuality, but also wisdom and virtue, not to mention the art of winemaking. Finally, Dionysus stood revealed as a god. Hera recognized Dionysus and cursed him with madness. But Rhea in time could purify the young god. Then she initiated him into her very secret women's mysteries. The power of Dionysus became unparalleled.
The addiction to pleasureUnless I understand addiction, I will never understand my own body.
I am addicted to Reiki - and to a good many other things. Addiction is blood pusher number 1 in human life. Everything I have to repeat is an addiction, beginning with breathing. I am designed to run on pleasure. I live for it. Feelings of pleasure are pure energy, in other words a simple chemical reaction.
Each pleasurable feeling continuously restricts my freedom. The memory of a wonderful experience will drive me into similar patterns when I find similar situations. My personality narrows down. Every decision leading to success brands in and gives rise to my next decision.
Is addiction morbid? Or is it something very natural? If someone is addicted to alcohol or drugs, it is generally referred to as a disease. But does the object of addiction decide whether a behavior is »abnormal«?
The object as such is very important to addiction. Ironically, a different person, an external object, an external situation is connected with the feeling of pleasure. Yet the feeling itself is created entirely from within, unless the chemistry would be supplied from the outside. Whenever an external factor becomes a condition of happiness it is a sign of addiction.
And the dynamics are really simple. When a feeling of pleasure is created in a certain situation, the subconscious mind begins to analyze the situation. There was this person present. There was Santana on the radio. A bottle of red wine was open on the table. We have been on the beach in Indonesia. From that moment on just listening to Santana or seeing a bottle of red wine will create a good feeling. And to feel pleasure I will also need this person. Of course next vacation is to Indonesia again. If the feeling was generated while winning the championship or standing at the summit of Mount Everest or K2 things will become more complicated. The threshold for a further reward then is incredibly high. Brain researchers call it the »law of associative memory«. An experience gets an emotional charge. Allergies follow the same principle, just the connotations are negative.
The brain builds up all its concepts by this law of associative memory - ideas, thoughts and feelings. The concept and feeling of love for example can be connected to disappointment. Some people experience the memory of pain, sorrow, anger, and even rage when they think about love. Rage may be linked to hurt, which maybe linked to a specific person which is then connected back to love.
Without evaluation or proper judgment all this is simply stored. The idea that my bodymind is first and foremost a radio station with an attached chemical plant, is not particularly edifying. Presumably it is accurate. There are wireless (light) and cabled (nerve, blood, lymph) receivers, broadcasting stations, conductors and warehouses for all the signals. The electrical (conducting) and chemical (dissociating) properties of water are crucial for the body fluids. The perception of thoughts, the spiritual and mental power, what the mind wants is only the result of electrical and chemical processes, a share of one's own reality.
Every new experience becomes a memory. Neuronal connections and circuits are built in the brain. In creation they release chemicals that produce a particular feeling. Thus, every experience has an emotion and a feeling as end product. This is necessary for remembering my experience. For this reason I will also repeat new experiences - physically or in my mind. So they imprint themselves better. The learning process of life is primarily an act of building new connections in the brain, and memory is used to keep the connection intact.
To give the bodymind its drive certain peptides play an important role, the chemical components just mentined above, and they are produced by the hypothalamus. They create the feeling of pleasure, the feeling of happiness, the feeling of orgasm. Which bodymind would ever join in this life on earth, if there would not have been this feeling, at least? Which soul would have craved for the experience of consciousness, if there would not be a kick at least? It seems that nature (or God) have set this all up with a certain intention. Survival should be rewarded. If I could escape from the tiger, if I could knock down my enemy, when reproducing, then I was rewarded. It is not without reason that pleasure is associated with the sexual chakra (as well as the pathological counterpart - which is frustration). It was rewarded to live life, to be determined to survive, to experience consciousness, to collect this experience for the whole universe.
However, when frustration takes over the desire for reward and pleasure remain unsatisfied. The cells are yelling up to the brain, because their chemical needs are not met. The man is depressed, confused, or he suffers. The mind seeks for other situations then to start the rewarding process. Other neuronal connections may be established, that even bad situations could be interpreted as good enough and be connected to a good feeling to fire up the reward system. So basic is the neediness for pleasure.
There are people who have to eat under stress. This is addiction! This is self-sabotage! Because stress has to do with perceived danger to life! No normal person would sit there and cram with food in order to make oneself heavy, slow and inflexible. Of course, the consciousness of not fighting, of not taking to flight (it is actually a lack of courage or anger at oneself) has to manifest on the physical level, so in repetitions it may be experienced even better. The person continues to increase body weight and body sluggishness. This also hinders the removal of waste. True to its motto: If the slag is already here, why not keeping it? If somebody wants to become slim again, he must make himself addicted to 65 kg of body weight. He must feel the pleasure, how it feels to float with an ease up the mountain, how it feels to be admired for his body shape. The brain will then change the chemistry and establish different neuronal connections. The same principle is used in mental training. The mind creates pleasurable and vivid emotions, and these are being connected to the desired state of being.
If I have to buy beautiful or ugly clothes, or clothes my idol is wearing - all is addiction. What a feeling to reconfirm my poor self image again and again? Unhealthy addiction can reach a state of allowing the self being exploited, even tortured and abused. This is also the deep reason why partners in a destructive relationship - when they are able to separate and find a new partner - they often also find themselves in a similar destructive relation.
Even the much vaunted love often is nothing more than an addiction, unless it would be unconditional. But if I need my partner to flip the switch, to jumpstart my chemical plant, then this is a condition. If my partner no longer complies, then also all the love is gone and I have to acknowledge my partnership was just an addiction, which one day was no longer satisfied.
People that I love are usually willing to share my emotional needs, whatever they are: sexual, victimized, power or control. If I do not feel worthy I need the emotion to make me feel worthy. I can become addicted to anger or to starvation. To be in love can just mean to be in love with the anticipation of the emotion I am addicted to.
Dr. Joe Dispenza describes in the movie Down the Rabbit Hole an experiment with laboratory animals. They hooked up electrodes in certain parts of their brain, that produce those neuropeptides, and the animals were trained to press a lever to get that chemical release. The animal would choose that neuropeptide release more than hunger, more than sex, more than thirst, more than sleep. It went to the point of physical exhaustion and collapsed before it would take care of itself physically.
Each emotion can become an addiction, and so it is easy to imagine that a person could become addicted to stress, the person cannot change the jobs, cannot give up the relationship, cannot take care about his needs. If I cannot control my emotional state then I am addicted to it. I have to create situations which are able to satisfy this emotional state - my chemical needs.
The deep immersion in my own feelings of a certain experience creates the risk that the feelings become the means of my thinking. If my feelings determine my thinking I will only live from the past, because my feelings are associated to some past event. If I determine my future based on my feelings I will therefore recreate my past. I will recreate what I am already wired to. If all I know is victimization then I will revive it. That's all I know.
In order to create a new future, I have to leave the feelings of the past behind. If I am able to do that, I will break the associations; the neurological network can disperse the components, and a new experience can take place. This is the greatest challenge for every living being.
In Vedic physiology the hypothalamus is connected with Chandra (the moon). Its characteristics are similar to those of a mother or queen, female qualities of maintaining the status quo in the body. It controls the nurturing behavior, body temperature, reproductive behavior and hormonal cycles with different frequencies, e.g. the menstrual cycle of women. It is the principal regulator for all body functions, like heart rate, blood pressure, hunger, thirst, osmotic pressure, sexual hormones, stress hormones, immune responses, and autonomic (involuntary) nervous system. The hypothalamus has control over every endocrine gland in the body. It is located right below the thalamus at the center of the brain, next to the pituitary gland (hypophysis). The hypothalamus is like a little mini factory that assembles certain chemicals that match the emotional state I experience. Those particular chemicals are called peptides, basically small chain proteins or amino acids. There are assembled neuropeptides for example for anger, sadness, victimization, or lust. When I experience a certain emotional state in my body or mind, the hypothalamus will immediately assemble the corresponding peptide and releases it through the pituitary gland into the bloodstream. From there it finds its way to different parts of the body.
Every cell in the body has certain receptors on the outside waiting for corresponding peptides to appear. When a peptide docks on, it is like a key going into a lock, and while it is there it will send its signal into the cell and even change the cell. The signal can set off a whole cascade of biochemical events and may even change the nucleus of the cell, so that after cell division the new cells will be of different anatomy, physiology and consciousness. At the expense of receptors for nutrients, vitamins, minerals, fluid replacement or removal of waste products could for example more receptors for the specific emotion be found on the surface. The new cell will be of inferior quality. Aging is the result of emotional abuse.
Most people do not know that they are addicted to their emotions. We are addicted, because we never had anything better to replace what we are addicted to. Starting from the neuronet, this replacement would change my attitude, my interaction with the environment, my strategies, and my body chemistry. It would change my identity.
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Meeting My Inner Child
In March 2009 I participated in a special seminar. It's called BreakThrough and was developed by Esther Veltheim, co-founder of the Reiki Network. BreakThrough is an inside job that is, learning to understand the nature of our defenses and the control they have over lives. BreakThrough »breaks through« the defensive, unconscious and over-reactive patterns, the masks and sabotage programs the participant is willing (has the courage) to penetrate, to live a freer life, more authentic, with less conditioning, with more attention to his own personal needs, with fewer over-reactions. Unconsciously we are already doing it, when we practice Reiki Self Treatments, but such a step-by-step process that reveals the nature of our conflict in a conscious way, can be helpful.
In 7 steps (or 7 questions) the participants is guided through a situation, in which he experienced an over-reaction. Ultimately this process was very liberating experience for me, which gave deep insights into repressed emotions and a poor self-image.
Much empathy is required from the tutor to be able to listen to the answers to the 7 questions from inside, raise doubts in case, then being full of compassion he can really make the participant to remove his own mask, to uncover what is underneath. Such guide is like a true friend, someone who would also give a contra, instead of always reconfirming a reactive and destructive image, the typical behavior of false friends. Finally this inner journey is toward reclaiming what is most natural to each and every one of us - the experience of wholeness. Consciously, we begin to integrate a more holistic view of self-awareness and begin to perceive and experience life differently.
Linda's compassion and also seeing her tears running down when working me through my 7 steps was very touching. I sat in front of 40 other participants, and I went through a lot of defense mechanisms, until I finally had this big »A-Ha«
My story was that of a perceived betrayal or abuse by a person I had admired, but as so often the outside experience reflects what is going on inside. Only I had covered it up so brilliantly in all of my life that I would have never seen it, despite all knowledge of theory.
It felt hard to question what I was thinking of myself deep inside. Until suddenly I could discover rage at myself. I realized that I saw myself as a wild and dangerous person, consequently I only deserved to be cheated or betrayed.
There was a moment in those steps when I imagined meeting little Axel, the 4 year old boy, so sweet, open, forgiving - and overwhelming to see how despite all this suffering he stretches his little hand towards the elder Axel, as if no hurting from all this inner belief systems would have ever happened. With such a smile just to say »Welcome back«, I have been waiting for you. This little Axel is so pure, just admirable and overwhelming. With thankfulness, pride and joy I grab his little hand and then we both walk together a road he is choosing. Little Axel seems so much faster being able to forgive, and this is without any condition, it is so touching to see! How much could I have lost contact with my true self?
I felt peace.
Of course in my head I know there cannot be any forgiveness because there is no one to blame, not even myself, but from observing this gesture of forgiveness I now realize this is also true for my inner self.
Over many years I took gods as example of how I wanted to be. And it seems I wanted to be as far as possible from my human nature. Since Reiki 2 and Mental Training I took journeys to »My true master«, which means connecting with the essence of first Medicine Buddha and later Jesus. Interestingly I never wanted to write a specific name on this label describing that essence; I intuited it could be wrong.
The evening after this experience, just after coming from the session I sat down and I realized I wanted to connect with my inner child instead, and so I did. I took the bunch of papers - the protocol from my 7 steps and my nameplate - and I did the Reiki 2 technique. Being connected I then went into Alpha, a state of mind which is used in Mental Training, and there met with little Axel again, we spent a lot of time together, I felt his need for love and nurturing, and all fell into place. It was so nice to see I should observe my own needs despite what was happening.
I could not ignore it anymore. And I realized meeting my own inner child was to meet my true master.
The next time I did mental training I met little Axel again. I was in the middle of magic island. We were sitting cross-legged on top of a pillar-like stone, looking at each other. As if in a ritual little Axel leaned forward, and with his right index finger he touched my third eye. It felt soft, calm, fresh and liberating. For a moment I thought I should do the same from my adult point of view, but I immediately discarded this idea as completely out of place. We both smiled at each other. Then suddenly he stood up and ran ... into me! It felt great. But then I realized - he would not come out anymore, and I was shocked.
Then I understood. I had to take responsibility. I admired the confidence and the courage of my inner child. I felt ONE. The fear disappeared. Little Axel was inside me!
The Fine Line between Coincidence and DestinyWalking the line
There is a fine line between coincidence and destiny. That's the whole freedom I have.
I believe that this picture describes the essential meaning of my life. Who am I? Why am I here? How free am I? What is freedom? Does everything have a meaning? Am I dependent on causes? Can I determine my own future? Are there any causes at all? Do things happen by chance?
Mae-Wan Ho wrote in The Biology of Free Will, there must be the law of cause and effect, an acausal world would be one where it is impossible to be free, as nothing would be intelligible. What kind of freedom would it be, if anything would simply and somehow happen? In such a world I could not at be free at all.
In causes - be they known or unknown - I can find an explanation for why I'm feeling the way I feel. Some belief systems go even further, suggesting in my (current) life I would have to carry the can for what others and I have done once. The numbers in my birth date, the position of the planets, are these causes I have to live up now? And if a cause produces a certain effect - how free could I be in this case, if I have to take the rap for my past actions and the actions executed by others? It is on the edge to karma or guilt that the meaninglessness of my life comes to an end.
It seems that neither in destiny nor in coincidence freedom can be found. Does freedom exist at all? How would it manifest? Is freedom important? Am I not a part of the whole? Could I allow myself in my relation to the whole to be free? How important is my part in the integral whole? How important am I?
Sometimes I observe persons who seem to have everything under control. They appear to have control. They seem to be free, because their will happens. They need a lot of energy. They manipulate. They are addicted to the confirmation to be important, and to be free. They depend on it. Then someone or something unexpected happens and suddenly those persons will does NOT happen. Therefore persons trying to control cannot be free either.
Do you recall the quotation from the Bible »Thy will be done«? Would this be a sign of freedom? Is freedom maybe just peace?
Am I free when I am born? Am I free, when I die? Freedom is the culmination of 4 big consciousness related subjects that describe the whole sensuality, joy and tragedy in life: separation, time, guilt and individuation, which is the final perception and synthesis of self.
I have sensed separateness in my deepest grief. This occurred during a Reiki treatment at the holy Kailash mountain in Tibet, when due to high altitude I was lacking air. It was a surprisingly powerful experience. Thank God I had Reiki to carry me through.
Separation is evident in persons who like the idea of control and being important. Quite often they do not even realize how superimposing on others becomes a superimposition onto their own self's. Separation and guilt may lead to brutal behavior towards others, towards self, towards the whole planet.
»Après nous le déluge«, or the flood may come after me says a lot about the consciousness of separate people. I like the idea weighting the meaning of life in terms of how much service was given the community.
Helmut Schmidt, former German chancellor, was asked in an interview once, how it has felt during World War II to shoot people. He replied that it was in no way different to the feeling of being shot. The wisdom of this so factual man, his rooted spirituality, has deeply touched me.
There is also a fine line between forgiveness and guilt. Regarding »guilt« the concept of things just happening beside me has given me peace, showing a way out. With Reiki I realized very quickly that it is not another persons fault of how I am. This was logical, because I started to take responsibility for my life. But thereafter as deep as I took up the concept of separation above, the concept of guilt overcame me, for someone must be blamed for how I am today. Guilt and condemnation towards myself was the consequence. Being guilty in sin is unfortunately a fundamental part of my culture and education! This is paralyzing! It is so easy to find confirmation for my own guilt and to keep this concept in permanent fear. Because letting it go means letting go a major part of my identity - and who am I without this identity?
Answers (and courage) around those concepts point to individuation. If I free myself from my prejudices and I can perceive myself in a healthier way. And this is why I find coincidence so sympathetic and helpful. When I say that some things in my life just "happened beside me" I'll remove the emotional charge from my blame, I even negate guilt. The idea is that I'm just present somewhere, let's say by coincidence, and what happens just happens anyway, and not because of me. I just happen to be there and I feel and experience what is happening. It has nothing to do with me. It is a drama, which had taken place with or without me. I believe this is the only view in which I can neutralize the importance of my own ego. I dissolve guilt in my own unimportance. I shake off the whole ballast of this concept. There is a lot of talk about forgiveness these days. But how could it work? Would this question not be similar to the Helmut Schmidt case above? How could there even be forgiveness if there would not be the recognition of guilt in the first place? Forgiveness and guilt are synonymous. And it is on the edge to coincidence that the blame and guilt stop.
Time is closely associated with mortality, and this again with separation. Living with the past fixed and the future unknown makes us feel secure in time, says Michio Kaku. But what is time? Time consists of time past, time present and time future. But the future does not yet exist. The past no longer exists. And the present takes up no time at all. So how then can time exist - already asked Dr. S. Augustine in his confessions in the 4th Century? There is even a fine line between past and future, and perhaps this is just another term for the fine line between coincidence and destiny.
Throughout life, I am walking this fine line, this narrow ridge, which describes the whole meaning of life, the little significance to the abyss of meaninglessness, the little freedom to the limits of responsibility, the small fortune to experience life on edge of inexperience, the little local autonomy, which sets in when my participation in the universe, my obedience to the pulsating unity in synchronicity, in senses and responses makes me act like a wave in the ocean, fully integrated, as Jung once described it, when every cell in the body, every thought in the mind, inside and out, is completely reconciled with all of nature.
The cortices balance from BodyTalk
Bodytalk is a health care modality, which addresses poor balances within the bodymind on an energetic level.
Balancing the left and right hemispheres of the brain is one of the core techniques of the BodyTalk System. This can have profound effects on the overall well-being as it helps to reset the amygdala and to reduce stress levels. Specific and immediate effects include improvements in thinking ability, memory and concentration, feelings of well-being and enhancement of general physiological body function. The simple technique takes only a minute a day and is recommended for every person. In a short video you get the how and why to do the Cortices Technique of Bodytalk.
Other videos in this set give a general overview of the BodyTalk System, discuss the concept of diagnosis, the innate wisdom of the bodymind, the use of intuition, and the principles of consciousness. There is also an introduction of BodyTalk Access, which provides the layperson with a simple set of techniques for home use.
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The 8 secrets men carry within
Many men carry a mountain of rage and a lake of tears. This is the sad and true message, be it because of a psychologically invasive mother or an absent or aggressive father. The dynamics behind are in depth explored by the Jungian analyst Dr. James Hollis in his book »Under Saturn's Shadow: The Wounding and Healing of Men«.
Psychologically most of men have remained, essentially, the uninitiated, wounded male characteristic of our time. It is time for us men to look more consciously into our own wounding. One of a man's greatest developmental tasks is to achieve a healthy separation from the bond with his personal mother. Only then he can get in touch with his own soul, and free himself also from the Saturnian's shadow. Good references are the various rites of passage that are still observed in the tribal and indigenous cultures on our planet. Strange enough that the civilized world cannot handle this important move from a trouble-free existence of a child to the mature meeting of responsibility with full awareness and guidance for their own sons.
I highly recommend this book, and as a glimpse will reveal the therein stated 8 secrets men carry within.
- Men's lives are as much governed by restrictive role expectations as are the lives of women
- Men's lives are essentially governed by fear
- The power of the feminine is immense in the psychic economy of men
- Men collude in a conspiracy of silence whose aim is to suppress their emotional truth
- Because men must leave Mother, and transcend the mother complex, wounding is necessary
- Men's lives are violent because their souls have been violated
- Every man carries a deep longing for his father and for his tribal Fathers
- If men are to heal, they must activate within what they did not receive from without